We need to feel that we are managing their lives. But everyone will sooner or later finds himself in a situation which is not able to influence. Disease, old age - can you prepare yourself to the circumstances when it is necessary to entrust to another care of themselves? Yes, it is necessary to open his helplessness, explore it, I'm sure the author of "A Year of Life", a philosopher, a teacher of meditation Stephen Levine. We offer you a basic idea of the philosopher.
"I find it hard to ask for help, especially men !" "I'm used to the fact that my problem - it is only my problem, why someone strain? After all, people have their cases in short supply. " "My mother is sick, hardly goes outside, but strictly forbids me to take care of her. If I bring her food and medicine, she gets angry and refuses to accept them. " Such recognition is not uncommon.
Many of us are extremely difficult to accept foreign assistance. Letting a stranger - even his wife or son - to take care of us, we feel that we have not fully belong to himself. Part of our resistance is related to family or cultural traditions: from childhood entrenched in the mind phrases like "Adult male (adult female) should (must) do everything on their own" do not teach the ability to accept help. Something we believe that it is easier to serve others than himself to be the object of care and to sign in its own helplessness.
But it is to the sense of powerlessness was not dimensionless, and not to turn our lives into a nightmare, you need to open themselves to their helplessness and explore it, said Stephen Levin.
We always have a choice. "We may feel helpless, but never actually these are not, - says the author. - We can always show softness, surrender to what is happening and to take part in a reality as best they could. We are unlikely to control the situation, but probably we will be able to partially abandon the resistance, converting from a difficult situation in the intolerable. "
How to keep an open heart, honestly that need help, and quietly take it when you no longer had the strength to act independently? Learn helplessness offers Steven Levin and recommends some exercise.
1. Walk with your eyes closed. Let him to whom you trust to guide you around the house blindfolded. Observe the feelings of mistrust and fear. Then, do this exercise alone, walk alone blindfolded throughout the apartment.
2. Allow anyone to lead the dance. Sign up for a trial lesson or another tango dance pair. All movements follow the partner. This exercise will help you to see how you are addicted to control. It would be difficult, if not relax the stomach and not to surrender to the dance completely.
3. Trust in the other details. Lower the arms and allow another to feed or clothe (change out) you. Watch the fledgling frustration, but do not raise the hands.
4. Eliminate action. Spend a day or most of it, not doing anything. No economic and creative affairs. No sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. Observe how the mind devoid of stimuli, anxiety is manifested. Relax your stomach and surrender the passage of time.
These exercises will help us sometimes "let the situation" and to recognize that we are imperfect. More relax and trust the others, realizing that we can not act alone and need each other.
By agreeing to something to be weak, we begin to better communicate with people - because we do not have anything to hide from them.