In 2010 researchers from Indiana University studied the relation to barrier contraception. 50% of women surveyed admitted that they do not get the full pleasure from sex if the partner uses a condom. That, in general, is not surprising: when we are experiencing because of the risk of becoming pregnant or infected, we are clearly not an orgasm.
80% of respondents agreed that condoms are necessary, but only 39% have used them during the last sexual intercourse. We do not get the pleasure of unprotected sex, but they continue to do. 40% of those who did not use a condom the last time they had sexual intercourse, did not discuss it with your partner. Among the newly formed 62% of couples stop using condoms after a month of relationship, and 50% of them do not talk about it with each other. We are engaged in sex without pleasure, and we are silent about it.
Relationship expert Matthew Hussey said there are three reasons why couples stop using condoms, not even discussing it.
In the midst of a passionate foreplay ask a partner, if he has a condom, and he will look at you in bewilderment. He does not have a condom, and in general - as you only come to a head? You have two options: to make an exception (only once!) Or to say. "Not tonight, dear"
Hassi points out: "First of all it depends on your principles. Women often depart from their beliefs to please a man. "
Let's say your principled position - to make love without a condom only once a man bring a doctor's note, and you start to drink contraceptives. To defend it, you need the courage and self-confidence. Maybe you embarrassed to start a conversation or you are afraid to lose it, if you become insist on.
And yet, you have to explain his position to men. At the same time try not to look aggressive, irritable or too assertive. We need to learn to communicate. Otherwise, eager to deliver a man pleasure, you'll do that really do not want. It is necessary to give way once, and nothing will stop it again.
Men often say: "Feelings are not the same," "I am absolutely healthy", "Do not be afraid, you will not get pregnant." But it happens that women themselves make the partners refuse condoms.
According to Hussey, "the pressure is on both sides. Most women are convinced that man does not want to use a condom and get rid of it, you can bring pleasure to the partner. However, women forget that bring pleasure to someone does not mean to be attractive. Your principles make you even more attractive in the eyes of men. " In addition, bring condoms in sex pleasant time waiting: if someone of you reached out to them, it is a sign that you prefer to have sex right now. This should cause excitement, not fear.
"When it comes to condoms, people tend to make mountains out of molehills" - said Hussey. "Why do not you get closer," one hundred percent "? You do not trust me? We are together for so long! I'm not important to you? "- Perhaps a lot of it you yourself heard.
If condoms ruin the romance, it means that you have much more serious problems in sexual life. Condoms do with it, they are just a cover other difficulties. Hussey emphasizes that people often confuse confidence with security. One does not exclude the other. "I trust you, but it does not mean that you are healthy." This creates difficulties in a new relationship, when people quickly attached to each other. But for the one-time relations is not a problem.
Who buys a condom?
Within the framework of the already mentioned our study 50% of respondents said that men and women are equally responsible for contraception. And those and others have to be with a condom. However, in practice most women expects that condoms will buy and bring men.
Buy condoms - then admit that you have sex for pleasure. Many women due to this uncomfortable. "What will people think if I wear a condom with you?" But when the condom is not, you may find yourself in a much more difficult situation. Yes, some men may confuse what you keep condoms at home or carry them with you. But in fact, it proves that you do not behave recklessly with other partners.
If you still have questions, Hussey offers to answer: "I should not make excuses. If you think I sleep with everyone - it's your right, but then you do not know me. Are you sure we should be together, "The most important thing - you need to talk more about condoms, honestly and openly. This is your relationship will become stronger, happier, and more reliable.