7 effective ways to ask for help

We are often afraid to ask about the service, we are embarrassed, or we are afraid to hear the refusal. These simple tips from the philosopher Alice Boyce ease your life and make it so that surrounding themselves with joy will come to your aid.

You can use these tips to communicate with his family, at work, with friends, with strangers, or to use these techniques in client service situations. So what should you do to get help.

1. Show that you are trying to help themselves, but to no avail

People are more likely to come to the rescue of someone who was trying to solve the problem yourself before you seek help. ( "I tried Googling ", "I tried to restart the computer ") Formulate the request briefly and concisely. Imagine that you write a list. Be specific.

2. Show that you previously followed the advice of the man

Not very nice to give advice and to see that the man ignores it and does everything in his own way. People want to help those in whom they have confidence. Otherwise, why would they waste their efforts and spend time on you? So when you get help from the person to whom the future plan to apply again and again, make sure that he knows that you have acted in accordance with its previous advice and appreciated them.


"That's a personal example: my family loves to ask me to help them. That is why I introduced a policy - I help only from 7 am to 8 pm every day. So my time is not broken, and it's not too late to go to bed. This system works very well and is suitable for all ", - says Alice Boyce. If you do not know when is the right time to look at someone's help, ask to stipulate terms of people, to which you are applying. Instead of saying: "I would like to ask you for help," ask: "In what time you prefer just to talk to me about this?".

4. Use the technique of "foot in the door" or "DOOR TO FACE»

These tactics are considered manipulation and should be used with caution. The technique of "foot in the door" - you make a small request, which you know you will not give up, and you should immediately ask for something more serious. Technique "door in the face" works on the reverse principle. When you are denied a large request, you immediately ask for a small favor, which seems more reasonable compared to the previous query. In addition, a person feels guilty and tries to help now in small services.

For example, you ask a friend: "Could you give me a lift by car to the center?" He said: "No". Then you continue: "And to the nearest metro station?" This method is based on the socio-psychological phenomenon - people are inclined to make concessions and agree with the proposal in unattractive if it is done to them immediately after their failure in the other, more onerous request.

5. Do not allow others to guess DO YOU NEED HELP

When making the request, make sure the person knows exactly what you want from it. For example, if you need to get your spouse to show you what to do and not just say in words, ask exactly that. There are times when you want someone to spontaneously offered its assistance. For example, when you drag a heavy suitcase on the subway stairs. But because you can ask for help themselves. Do not hesitate, the more you practice this, the easier it will be to do it in the future.

"I have a child, we often travel together. And I found that unknown people are generally happy to stretch out a helping hand, if you ask them. Sometimes strangers hesitate to offer help themselves or are too busy with their own thoughts and do not realize that you need. You've noticed that when we provide a service or do something good to strangers, it improves our mood. So calling someone for help, you give him the opportunity to become a little happier, "- says Alice Boyce.

6. Use multiple channels

When you call to company customer service, you may have to try several options at once, to get what you want. For example, to use not only a phone, but also chat, messaging, personal meetings and social networks, depending on the situation. If you are unable to call immediately or get a comprehensive answer to your question, hang up and try to talk to another member or to switch to another channel customer service.

7. Helps SAMI

You are one of those who offers or provides assistance to others more often than he asks? Then the probability to get help you much higher. The couple, for example, tend to overestimate their contribution to the relationship. And if you think that helps partners more often than it is to you, you probably will get help to him than provide it themselves.