Some of us are lying just like that, without any purpose. And it irritates others. Clinical psychologist David Ley is working with a pathological liar, and he was able to discover six reasons why patients do not want to tell the truth, according to reports citing health info on psychologies.ru.
Most try to always tell the truth. Some lie more than others. But there are those who lie constantly. Pathological lies is not a clinical diagnosis, though may be one of the symptoms of psychopathy and manic episodes. But most of liars - mentally healthy people who think differently or lie under the influence of circumstances.
1. FALSE SENSE IS FOR THEM
Surrounding do not understand why they even lie in the details. In fact, these little things are important for those who are lying. They have a different perception of the world and different system of values. For them, what matters is that it does not matter to most.
2. When they speak the truth, they feel that they are losing control of the situation
Sometimes these people are lying to influence others. They are sure that their deception sounds more convincing than the truth, and allows them to control the situation.
3. They do not want us to be upset
They lie because they are afraid of the disapproval of others. Liars wants to be appreciated and loved, to be admired. They fear that the truth does not look too appealing, and learning her friends may turn away from them, the relatives will be ashamed, and the boss does not entrust important project.
4. The start gate THEY CAN NOT STOP
Lies like a snowball, one touches the other. The more you lie, the harder it is to start telling the truth. Life is like a house of cards - remove one card, and it will collapse. At some point you start to lie to back up last lie.
Pathological liars are confident that if they admit in one episode, as it turns out that they lied before. Fearing exposure, they continue to cheat, even where it is not necessary.
5. Sometimes they do not realize that they lie
In a stressful situation, you do not think about the little things, it is important to save themselves. And you turn on survival mode, and this mode you are not completely aware of the fact that you say or do.
And you truly believe in your own words. We believe in what was not, if it is convenient for us. And once the danger has passed, we do not remember that said under the influence of stress.
6. They want their lies were true
Sometimes liars wishful thinking. They think that dreams can come true, if a little pretend. Become richer, if they start to throw dust in the eyes and tell about its mythical wealth or grandfather-millionaire that will leave them a will.
How to deal with a liar?
Whatever the cause or provoke a lie, liar always feels uncomfortable. And here the important reactions of others. If the source in response to a lie says: "Enough to invent", "! Again, are you kidding me" or "I will bring you to clean water!", The liar is included protective reaction. Most of these people are afraid to look like liars in the eyes of others and are able to go to any lie, to prove that they can be trusted.
If you want to know the truth, try to resist the attacks and accusations. To get started, try to determine the reason that the other person is lying. Ask him: "Why is this situation so important to you?" Or "Why do you want me to believe that? Why do you want me to look at the situation from this point of view? "So you will reduce stress and make communication more sincere. Empathy - the best way to show people that truth is not such a terrible thing and the world will not collapse if it turns out that he is deceiving others.