We do not care about the impression we make on others, so we unconsciously strive to please them. Several techniques can help you in this. They are so simple that they can effortlessly enjoy every day.
1. Memorize the names
The proper name for any person - it is the most pleasant blend of sounds. So why not play on it? Memorize the names of people and use them. Renowned psychologist Dale Carnegie was convinced that this technique is guaranteed to increase the number of fans.
For the person with whom you come in contact is not very often, the mere fact that you remember his name, will be a pleasant surprise. It will be a lot of surprised and flattered by the attention to his person.
It is not necessary to repeat the person's name is literally in every word. Instead, try to remember it immediately at the time of love, and then use whenever you want to start a conversation.
2. Control your emotions
Technologies are gradually replacing the living human communication. But people still remain quite social beings, for whom it is important to show emotions.
We subconsciously choose our interlocutors in the person who is closest to us emotionally, and their behavior does not cause rejection. It is often such that the conversation somehow capture the overall mood, and then adjusted to each other.
If you want to make someone a good impression or make someone's day a little better, try to control your mood to share with others only with positive emotions.
3. Use non-verbal means of communication
Learn to listen. And not only the ears. Try to show people that the conversation is really important to you, using non-verbal means of communication:
Otzerkalivayte interlocutor - copy of his position or manner of speech, but not too much carried away, otherwise he may think that you have it mimics.
Maintain eye contact - no one likes to hold a conversation with someone who is looking somewhere not there. It is unclear whether he actually listens to, or preoccupied.
Nod, smile, gesticulate, but in moderation.
Behave naturally, do not try to use all means of non-verbal communication at the same time.
4. Practice active listening
The ability to listen carefully to the interlocutor is very important to maintain a constructive conversation. You will be much more like the others, if concentrate on maintaining a conversation, not on something extraneous. Try to master active listening techniques to demonstrate how careful you may be with respect to the interlocutor.
Active listening - a special method of demonstration of attention, which is used in psychology and psychotherapy. It is used when you want to show the other person that you understand and share his feelings, and are ready to offer their assistance.
The most common techniques of active listening:
Paraphrase (paraphrase) - recapitulation spokesman said in your own words.
Clarification - the elucidation and clarification of further details of the story, to imagine a situation more fully and in detail.
Message about perception - verbal demonstration of other party that you have understood it.
Suit phrase "I understand how you hard," "I can imagine what you're feeling," and the like.
Pause shows the other party that you carefully ponder and reinvents the words uttered.
In addition, it is possible and it is necessary to ask the other party relevant questions, but in any case it should not be interrupting.
5. Provide feedback
To give one to understand that you really are not indifferent to it, raise the topic, which was discussed with him earlier.
Your colleague said that over the weekend his son will be a matinee? Have to tell you how it went. Your friend said that the weekend is going to rearrange the furniture and repaint the kitchen in a new color? Ask what came out of it and if he likes the result.
No need to always discuss some very important and global issues. Life consists of many small and insignificant at first glance the events. Attention and interest in them gives rise to talk. People are nice and flattering when someone is interested in the details of their lives.
6. Do not skimp on the praise
This praise is significantly different from the gross flattery, which is very easy to recognize. Remember, no one likes sycophants.
People are hungry for approval but getting it is very rare. It is much more likely to hear criticism and ironic remarks.
Sincere admiration for the work done on the conscience, knowing that the effort noticed and appreciated - it is really the people want to hear. Do not skimp on the words and sincere praise.
7. Criticize constructively and substantially
Be generous with praise, but do not get carried away with criticism. People are extremely vulnerable. Even not very hurtful words can be very hurt self-esteem. Sometimes uncritically do does not work. Remember that in these cases it should be constructive and not be negative connotation. If someone makes a mistake, do not scold him publicly. Be tactful and considerate.
Use the "sandwich" technique. Its essence is that any critical review is based on the following scheme: praise, criticism, praise.
The purpose of criticism is to consist in the fact that the other person admitted his mistakes on their own, without your direct instructions to them.
Try to reassure him, tell him not to worry, convince him that he is required to acquire the necessary skills in the future you will no longer arise similar problems. The less you poke your finger into the error, the better.
Before you start to criticize someone, think twice. Make notes only when it is really necessary.
You can stick and the other tactics: before telling someone on his mistakes, first tell us about all the missteps that have made or are making in the work you do. And only then proceed to the shortcomings of someone else.
8. Do not order, and offer
Few people like to be with him talking in the writ tone and do not make the most pleasant thing. But what in those situations where you from man something really necessary?
You can get what you want, simply by asking the right questions. The result will be exactly the same, only the person will not feel humiliated and insulted.
9. Be a real person, not a robot
Confidence makes a person more appealing to others. But it is important to strike a balance and not start all seem arrogant and pompous. The nature and the inner core you need to be, but do not go too far.
To the surrounding harbored sympathy to you, be honest with them. Do not go out of his way, trying to sound the man, which is not. People quickly recognize false. Agree, it's hard to feel good about the person to whom you can not trust.
Be consistent. If you want to look the person you can rely on, that ensure people that will be well to treat them, regardless of their mood.
Be careful how you behaved and filing. Forget about the arrogance and arrogance, try to help people as much as possible.
10. Learn basic storytelling
People love stories fascinating, so try to be a good storyteller.
The presentation of stories - a special form of art that requires skill. You will need to learn to express their thoughts, focus attention on the most interesting moments, follow the speech and not to tire his companions. Learn how to retain and attract the attention of people, then they will start to stretch you.
11. Do not become distracted by the phone
If you are with someone are communicating, then remove the smartphone away. Anything so does not distract from the conversation, as permanent a quick look at the screen during a call, as well as the sounds coming messages and notifications. This makes it difficult to concentrate on the conversation, and pretty annoying.
Any conversation will be more enjoyable at times, if you are absorbed in it entirely.
Focus on the contents of the conversation. Phone from you will not go away, but the man may well be.
12. Do not be afraid to ask Council.
I think this is one of the easiest ways to get people to fall in love with you. When you ask for advice, we are demonstrating to man that his opinion is important and valuable to you. You show that you respect him.
When you give a person the opportunity to feel important and significant when he realizes that without his help will not cope, then it begins to penetrate to your liking.
13. Avoid cliches
Let's be honest: no one likes boring people. They are predictable to yawn and terribly uninteresting. We often like bright, imaginative, original and sometimes even bizarre people.
As a trivial example: Imagine that you take someone's interview. Instead of the end to tell his companion catchphrase "It was nice to meet you", try to make some adjustments. Tell her instead: "I was really pleased to talk" or "I am glad that we finally get to know."
No need to reinvent the wheel - be yourself and show imagination.
14. Ask questions
Interested in the lives of people with whom you want to strike up a good relationship. Ask about their interests, hobbies, books they read and the movies they watch. This is a surefire way to gain attention.
People are self-centered and most of all love to talk about it themselves. If you let the other party that little weakness, he subconsciously mark you as an extremely pleasant person.
15. Be objective
Nobody wants to deal with a man who irrevocably drove something into his head, and not willing to change an opinion. If you want to please others, be unbiased. To get rid of prejudices, try to look at the world differently: listen to the opinion of others, compare it with their own and try to come to some kind of compromise.
Add to their normal behavior a couple of good habits and watch your popularity soars to the heavens.