Let's be realistic: the change in the calendar of numbers does not magically improve our lives. But it is the power of ourselves. We only need a little effort and begin to follow a few main rules, said Dr. Stephanie Sarkis philosophy.
At the beginning of the new year we conduct a kind of revision of his life - to spend the new year the most useful and rich.
Ask yourself these questions and be sure to answer them as detailed as possible, advised by psychologists.
"How I want to feel myself in this year??
This question affects your goals for the year came, and thanks to an honest answer to it, you can feel how the goal that you choose - your. For example, if you want to feel recognized and respected, then surely your goal means that you will increase their competence and communication with other people. If you want to be more independent, think: what purpose you need to achieve to make this happen?
"Who in this year I will love unconditionally, no matter what will happen??
Think about the people that you value, which may not have the most basic relationship, but in your heart lives love for him. Yes, children can not listen to parents - do not always understand you, and partner - to argue on trifles. But even during a family quarrel, you will remember his love, then do not try to change a person, or to bend it for yourself - you will learn to accept it for what it is.
"How am I going to experience failures and their mistakes??
We build grandiose plans and projects, but, alas, not all of them come to life - or not embodied in such a way, as we would like. Learn how to repair itself, its internal state after failures and setbacks. Think: what steps will you take to find out where you made a mistake, and in what way will you forgive yourself For example, this may be the phrase: "I'm only human and, like everyone else, sometimes do stupid things." This may be a breathing technique that will help you reduce stress. It could be yoga or talking to someone else.
"Who can I help this year??
Your contribution to the life of another person can be very important, even life-changing for him. Think and friend, family member or colleague who may need your attention and assistance: the real you assist him? Perhaps a friend needs your sympathy, a colleague - in the individual, at the time this council, mother - to help with the housework. Just remember that before you help, you should ask whether the person to take care of you ready.
"What's the word I want to choose to have it characterized me this year??
This will help you to understand what qualities and habits you should develop in themselves, what goals to achieve. Perhaps your words will be "patience" - and you say it to myself every time when something will go wrong. Perhaps, your word is "courage" - and you try to be more resolute in his actions. Perhaps your words will be "curiosity" - and you will try to expand the scope of their knowledge, find a new hobby or hobbies. Write the word and every morning, getting up from the bed, repeat it out loud.
Start the new year we often perceive as a symbolic moment: give yourself a promise in the hope that the coming year will make us happier and more successful, will be realized in the professional sphere and bring stability in their personal lives. For all this to happen, we need to change ourselves. And, of course, it is not necessary to start a new life in January, March or next Monday. The more that any changes should be longer than one day.
1. Set the boundaries of what is permitted
To succeed, we must learn to say "no" to become stricter and more resolute. It requires some courage, and may cause dissatisfaction of people who have used your gentleness. But be sure to close you will understand and support. So, from now on you will not suffer in silence if:
- You are asked about something at the last minute and you will have to change their plans in order to comply with this request;
- You speak arrogantly and disrespectfully;
- You have been unfairly criticized;
- You are forced to do something you do not like, bad for you, or you just think it is unacceptable for reasons of ethics and morality;
- You are told that you need to lose weight /different dress /buy an apartment /expensive car, etc .;
- Someone makes decisions for you or act on your behalf without your consent.
2. Start the sleep
An adult should sleep 8-9 hours a day. Sleep is considered to be strong and healthy, if you are quick and easy to fall asleep, do not wake up at night and get up in the morning fresh and rested. To build a dream, it is necessary: ??
- Go to bed and get up at the same time (optimally at 23:00 and 8:00). This schedule must be followed and on weekends;
- Sleep in a well ventilated room at a temperature of 19-21 ? C with the lights and blackout curtains, which do not allow the sun's rays. You can sleep under the so-called "white noise" or nature sounds (sound of the rain, the ocean) that you are not awakened before the time of the street sounds. They can play your smartphone;
- Abandon TV, laptop, phone, tablet an hour before bedtime.
Studies have shown that radiation from the screens of any gadgets, reduces the production of the hormone melatonin sleep.
If all of these steps have not been able to eliminate sleep disorders, then you need to see a specialist.
Work out, start to walk more, become more active - call it what you will, the meaning of the same: you have to move more. Studies have shown that even 20 minutes of physical activity a day can help reduce the risk of depression, panic attacks and attention deficit disorder. After training increases the synthesis of dopamine and serotonin, which are conventionally referred to as "pleasure hormones" and "hormone of good mood." Ideally, of course, each person requires one hour of physical activity per day. Sometimes the hardest thing - to find something to their liking.
4. Make a list of purposes.
Many psychologists argue that simply writing a specific goal in a notebook or in a list increases the chances of achieving it. And still need to talk to as many people about his plans. Now it is very easy to do - write on a page in a social network: "This year, I'll run a half marathon." And you would be uncomfortable without significant reason to abandon the idea.
This is how the principle of the obligation or the social order. The fact is that we all feel a deep need to act consistently. When we publicly undertake a certain obligation, trying to carry it out and thus prove its consistency. In addition, from a psychological point of view, the fact of implementation of commitments improves self-esteem.
5. Arrange priorities.
Ask yourself, what are the three most important things in your life. All they are different - the material and spiritual: family, work, personal growth, money, good food, new apartment, education, travel, entertainment, etc. Consider the cases in which you spend your resources: energy, time, money - wasted. And cross off those things from your life.
When you focus on the essentials, it will be easier to set goals and achieve them, you will not waste your time on trifles and will surely achieve his.