When we stifle rage and anger, it is difficult to immediately take himself in hand. However, it must be done, since the escalation of the destructive emotions will only exacerbate the situation. Clinical psychologist Andrea Bonior offers a few steps that will help you quickly settle down and find the most reasonable way out of the situation.
The decisions that we take in a state of extreme irritation or anger, often play against us. At best, they do not solve the problem, in the worst aggravate it. And although the deal with anger is not so easy, there are ways to counter its effects.
RECOGNIZE YOUR ANGER
Trying to pretend that everything is all right, when in fact we have a wave of indignation explodes, not only calm, but can be harmful to health. Many people think that to admit his anger - is to begin to exercise its destructive to others in a manner not too them unceremoniously. However, it can be done, and to himself. "What is happening now, I'm disgusting. But in my best interest to resolve the problem without making of what later regret. So now I will try to do nothing and do not speak. "
This inner dialogue with him will give you a little emotional breather and will move to a more constructive state where you can think about how best to resolve the situation.
WRITE LETTER ITSELF
If a dialog box does not work, try to describe your feelings in detail. It would be better if you write by hand that it bothers you now, angry or frightened. In the process of writing you will begin to better understand why so alarmed.
Perhaps your reaction caused by the memories that you have already experienced, and you are afraid of a repetition of unpleasant experiences? You angry person behaves like someone with whom you are associated painful memories? Epistolary sketch, likely will look at the situation abstractly.
Emotions in Motion transformed
If we are able to take control of the impulses of our body will cope with emotions. Start with breathing exercises. Take a few deep breaths, turns heads and hands at the wrist. The emotional state of feverish these exercises will be more useful than an imaginary (or real) battle with the person who brought you to the fury.
Try to imagine the circumstances of a person's life, which was with you rude and unfair
To consolidate the effect will suit any pleasant activity you - running, dancing, jumping. It is not only not allow negative feelings eat away at you from within, but also will effectively destroy them. If you feel that you must cry, or, on the contrary, I want to laugh, help your body cope with stress and allow yourself to express your feelings.
Think about the good that YOU HAVE
If you just can not calm down after a conversation with a colleague, or you have touched the rough words of a man from the queue, perhaps now is the time to think about what you can be thankful. Think about the people who love you and dear to you. Do you have a house, life plans, you are healthy. And it is much more important than the events that have no effect on your future. Look at the big picture of your life more vividly, and you will see how insignificant this episode.
Try to imagine the circumstances of a person's life, which was with you rude and unfair. Perhaps his life is devoid of psychological comfort and aggression - a reaction to stress, and dissatisfaction with life. Think about it with sympathy. This will help you feel like a man who controls the situation, but does not go on about foreign manipulation.
SHARE ONLY WITH THOSE YOU who understand
If you have a loved one, a frank conversation on the souls can help streamline your feelings. However, be careful in choosing a confidant - not everyone will be able to listen to, while remaining sensitive and injuring careless words. You can suddenly feel that the other person difficult or uninteresting to touch this topic.
Not everyone will be able to listen to, while remaining sensitive and injuring careless words. You may feel that the other person difficult or uninteresting to touch this topic
Someone, on the contrary, can only inflame your feelings, showing an unusual interest in the history, but by no means sympathizing with you. All this can cause more pain.
Be attentive to Me
Sometimes it seems that we have solved the problem of agonizing, but the consequences of our experiences haunt us in the form of irritability, insomnia, and sometimes sluggish current depression, which we do not attach importance. Often these symptoms are the body do not leave us, if the experiences were connected with something deeper and more painful than the formal episode that we experienced. In this case, professional help can help us to find the true causes and psychological traps.